Love & Happiness

It's been a long time since I've shared my thoughts on here, and let me tell you so very much has happened since my first post. So let me lay it all out on the table for you. In mid November, 2011 I was diagnosed with major depression. While this was not a huge shock to me, because of the way I had been feeling, it was still hard to swallow. At first I felt like I was broken, and couldnt be fixed. It was also really hard to share with my friends and family. I was ashamed and slightly embarassed. Depression isnt something that people tend to not know how to approach, which is why I want to be able to openly talk about it, share some insight, and maybe help someone whos been wher I was.

I've learned so much in the past couple months, and it has been a struggle. Its been so worth it though. I now am able to feel emotion again. I feel happiness and love which I was unable to feel before. I have also met some amazing new friends though Twitter who have opened my eyes to things that I would not have seen if it had not been for them. For that I am so thankful.

I have learned that in life, we have choices. We are in control of those choices. What am I choosing? to be happy and to be love. Is that something I have to work at every day? Yes. Do I still have "dark days?" Yes. Depression is not something you can wish away, or blink and make it go away, its a long haul to the road to recovery but it is possible. I am so glad that I was able to see that I needed help and got it.

Life is too short to be anything but happy.

My goal for today? Make those I love feel loved, let them know how much they mean to me. I challenge you to do the same.

xoxo
Chrissie

What Will Happen....After All?

So I've spent a majority of my "Chrissie day" on YouTube looking up some of the best moments from the legendary shows like "The Dick Van Dyke Show", and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". I then stumbled upon some interviews with Dick, and Mary themselves. These are two of my idols, role models, two people who I admire more then anyone. Watching these videos fills me with such joy, and reminds me of why I love the theatre and dance. These two actors are so classy, and have a talent that you rarely see now-a-days. There are times I wish I had been born in a different century so that I could have been on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show", such a heartwarming, groundbreaking, hilarious show.

So whats really on my mind right now? My dreams. My dreams of acting and dancing professionally. Its been something I have dreamed of since I was four years old sitting in my dining room belting "I Just Cant Wait to be Queen" (I substituted out the king..) Being famous is just something that gives me such a high. Preforming is something that I just adore, I wish I could be known worldwide for acting of dancing like my two idols are. I wonder if I will ever be able to make these dreams come true. Its when I start to get down on myself tat I think of the biographies of MTM and DVD and all the struggles and hardships they faced. Underneath the fancy Hollywood smiles there are stories there of love, broken trust, struggle, disease, among other things. They really are just ordinary people, lucky enough to make a living doing what they love. Really though it has nothing to do with luck, not in their cases. It is pure flawless talent.

What else do I love about these two? Their on screen chemistry, dance skills, or physical comedy? Yes, but also how they give back, something I wish I could afford to do more, but when you think about it giving just a dollar to a charity can make a difference and I encourage you to do that now.

These videos made my day, they filled me with inspiration, and reminded me to never give up on a dream that means so much.

Stress?

Finals week is just lovely isn't it? It seems as though finals bring out everything else that seems to be going wrong in my life, but bad days do that too don't they?

 Lets take today for an example. I woke up and had it in my head that I was going to school to take one final, would go to lunch, home and then just relax, while getting done what I needed to. Once I got to school things quickly started t become annoying. People not being prepared, running late, and unorganized. It seems as though once I become annoyed enough every single little thing that goes wrong becomes a even bigger annoyance. Anyone agree?

So how does one go about attempting to put a halt on the bad day? Here's what I did... Came home and had a pretty decent work out. I really have extra energy when I am annoyed or upset, and If i sit on that energy it builds up and I do not seem to get anything done. By working out I am able to use my energy and put it into something healthy. I feel s much better after doing 30 minutes of walking/jogging and then the weight machines. Then I took some time to relax and watch The Ellen Show.

In stead of letting the day get the best of me I took control and attempted to make it better. Are there still things on my mind that are bothering me? Of course, but that is true even on a excellent day.

Taking control of my own emotions is something I've just recently stated doing. Ive been famous for sulking and laying in bed because of a bad day, but once you take control you'd be amazed at how easy it is to make yourself feel even just a little bit better.

Be kind to yourself and try to make your day a little bit better.